Middles ex Blog # 5: Personal Story

I guess in some ways I can relate to Callie. In the relation to that I had a moment (not as significant) that changed how I viewed my self and my family. 

Several years ago, I was told that I have a different grandfather then all of my cousins. On a biological standpoint I saw myself as less of a cousin or less of a niece to my aunt. It's just strange to think that the person I presumed was my grandfather has no relation to me and the fact that there is another man out there who is actually related to me. Someone I never knew and never will. Learning this new information was weird. I felt almost betrayed in a way by my family into making me believe in a story that wasn't 100 percent truth. Kind of like a kid learning that Santa wasn't really that's how I felt. It made me think and still makes me think about what defines and who defines your family? Just because I have a different grandfather then my cousins shouldn't make me any less of a person to them. Just because Callie has learned that she's different from everyone else shouldn't make her feel obliged to change who she is. Although, It was a hard piece of information to wrap my head around I've learned to accept and love my family. My cousins are still my cousins and my aunt is still my aunt. All that's different is that I know the fully story. I now know why I tan easier or that my nose looks a little different from my cousins, aunts and uncles. I accord who and am even though I'm 1/4 unknown.

Middlesex Blog #4: Poem

Blog #4:

"Ecstasy. From the Greek Ekstasis. Meaning not what you think. Meaning not euphoria or sexual climax or even happiness. Meaning, literally: a state of displacement, of being driven out of one's senses"(374).

Original Piece:

The Burn

One look

I set off the fire

that erupted across his cheeks

traveling thorough his chest

controlling his heart

controlling my heart

One touch

The flames had reached our throats

Smoke filled our lungs

pouring out through our eyes

Ash clogging our ears

Neither one of us sought

To extinguish

the fire that raged

But I let go

Gasping for air

like a fish being thrown into the ocean

I swam away in a trance of terror

My heart thumped

squeezing the cold blood

through my veins

His scars faded

Mine remained

He loved the warmth

I ached for the burn

Explanation:

In this poem I was just trying to express the destruction of intense desire. While some can move forward and learn to love someone else with intense passion. Some are forever caught up on one person. In some ways, ecstasy can leave people in a naive state of mind. Especially , if you have never experienced that strong of emotion. It leaves you wanting to recreate that same type of feeling. When one has too much euphoria at once it can be destructive for both the mind and body. The same way drugs work. Everyone knows, drugs are horrible for your body because it consumes your entire existence altering your state of mind. In relation to Middlesex, one can say that Callie finds love and ecstasy in being with the Obscure Object. She consumes Callies life. Overall, love and the feeling of ecstasy can leave one wanting more. When you find someone you love never let them go. Unless, they do not love you back. Then you have to learn how to heal and move forward and not get stuck on one feeling of passion.

Middlesex Blog #3: Middlesex to Oedipus the King

Teiresias

           

In the chapter of Middlesex titled The Obscure Object  Callie portrays Teiresias in her schools' production of Antigone. Teiresias has appeared before in Oedipus the King as a blind prophet. This can relate to how Callie behaves as a teenager hiding behind her hair unable to physically see what is going on in the world. Also, metaphorically Callie is unable to see and accept that her body is biologically different from her peers. Additionally, the character Teiresias brings up the theme of fate which happens to be a big theme in Middlesex.  For instance, in the begging of the book there was a series of events fueled by their destiny that allowed Lefty and Desdemona to travel to America. Along with Callie who has not discovered her own fate that she is both a male and a female. Also, in Oedipus the King there is a strong theme of denial seen in Oedipus himself. Oedipus is in denial of the prophecy that Teiresias tells him, however, Oedipus cannot prevent his prophecy. Similarly, Callie is in denial that she is not a normal teenage girl even though her body has shown very limited signs of puberty.

            An obvious connection between the texts is that Teiresias was a woman for several years thus making Teiresias a hermaphrodite. This connects to the fact that Callie is a hermaphrodite as well. Furthermore, in both Callie's and Oedipus's family history there are acts of incest. Once Oedipus has discovered that he in fact married and had a child with his own mother he blinds himself. This makes me question how Callie will react when she discovers her own family history and her own identity.  Will she metaphorically turn a blind eye to the world and hide herself like Oedipus did or will she accept and love herself living life to the fullest embracing her biological identity?

Middlesex Blog #2: Current event: Military draft

            The military draft is something that does not concern the everyday child like it does Chapter 11. In the midst of a war the military draft inflicts fear into many parents, siblings and young adults. Many so fearful that they even think about leaving the country to avoid the draft. With big wars such as World War 1 and 2 the draft was necessary to fill in vacant spots in the force. At the end of the Vietnam War the draft was upheld reliving many young American men.

            What if the draft was still in place? Charlie Rangel, a lawyer, believes that implementing the military draft would again would make the United States a safer country. He says,  "If we're going to get into wars, we have to be prepared to make sacrifices. It shouldn't just be poor-ass kids volunteering to do the work". As Rangel states may go into the war simply because they cannot afford higher education nor can they get a good paying job. Therefore, shouldn't everyone be playing a role in America's military system? Although Rangel makes some good points he is having difficulty finding people to support his point of view simply because at the moment were in no need of soldiers.

            In some sense, the Hunger Games reaping and the military draft are two similar ideas. No one wants to be picked besides the few crazy ones who volunteer themselves.  Although joining the military today either by draft or volunteer does not mean a guaranteed death it does increase ones chances. This scares the hell out of us. The idea of and increased likelihood of death.  Basically, the average American does not have the courage to join the military on their own accord. And if the draft still existed one would see a lot of children have the same idea as Chapter 11 and book it out of the country before they hit 18. Rightfully so people are afraid of war because people are afraid of death. War is something that is not new and will continue to coexist with man.

http://www.militarytimes.com/story/military/2015/03/30/charlie-rangel-draft-fight/70373594/

Middlesex Blog #1: Key passage and personal stroy

Passage:

"But this stage didn't last long. My grandfather's mind, locked In its graveyard spiral, accelerated as it hurtled towards destruction, and three days later he started cooing like a baby and the next he started soiling himself. At that point , when there was almost nothing left of him, God allowed Lefty Stephanides to remain another three months, until the winter of 1979" (268-269). 

What was interesting/important:

This passage is interesting to me because it perfectly exemplifies the beauty of life and the inevitable consequence of life; death. In this short passage, Eugenides shows how in the presence of certain illnesses, the body digresses into a stage that is similar to that of an infant. One day your walking your granddaughter to the pond and the next moment, you start "cooing like a baby" and "soiling yourself". As we age our bodies and minds break down. It's terrifying that everyone has the possibility of losing their mind. That once your mind is completely broken down your body can't function which sent Lefty into a "graveyard spiral". A spiral is formulaic starting off slow eventually getting faster. This exemplifies how quickly Lefty's mind was destroyed resulting in his childlike behavior. Additionally, the theme of fate comes up with the mention of "God". That it was a higher force that decided how much longer Lefty should live. All in all, life is unpredictable because death, for the most part, is unpredictable. Like flowers and bees, the body and mind will always be dependent on each other for survival. 

 Personal Story:

Although I wasn't there for the entire journey I did watch my Nana enter her own spiral. One day she's baking cookies, the next she's on an oxygen machine 24/7. However, my nana never lost her stubbornness as an old mind, never listening to the doctors who said that she no longer should be putting salt on her food. Sometimes, if you left her alone in the kitchen you might find a box of saltine crackers missing. Eventually, my mother had to treat her mother like a infant by placing the salt shakers on the highest shelf playing dumb when she was questioned where they were. It really was a strange experience watching someone you love and know crumble before you. Part of me wanted to just listen to the same questions over and over again. However, part of me wanted to run away, back to the days of my own childhood. When I was the one who had to be babysat, not my nana. 

 

 

Journal Prompt #1

            I close my book. How many students have fallen asleep on the top floor? Only to be awaken by their subconscious whispers. I appreciated being so high up. You could stare down at everyone, from a safe distance. They looked like little cockroaches scrambling into each other afraid to communicate in the captured silence of this library. This type of chaos amused me simply because I was no part of the mess. It was great.

             My mother told me she would come here during the most chaotic of times, finals week. To study of course, however, after several sleepless nights the library transformed into my mothers bedroom. Surrounded by hundreds of others who too had made this very library their home.

            You ever wonder how many books, how many pages, how many words exist, here, in this building? How many ideas and dreams have been shaped? You ever feel nauseous from fear? That's how I feel. I've been spending way too much time on the top floor looking at the ground. My mind can't handle the distance. Everything feels so far away. So minuscule.  But I thought I liked the distance. I thought I enjoyed being invisible to the world around me. This is true. What terrifies me is how so many people can be on the first floor. So susceptible to the ignorance of the hundreds of strangers who wonder into this building.  I suppose I do find joy in looking down on my peers. I feel powerful and grand just like this library.

            I remember when I started kindergarten, the end seemed so far away.  During recess I always got exhausted, from skipping rope outside. They told me to sit down and breathe. So there I was sprawled out on my back in the middle of the court yard. I was at bliss being in the center. But the way my heart was thumping uncontrollably chaotic scared the death out of me. Although, back than I knew how to manage my heart.  All I had to do was press down where I felt the pounding. Until, the butterfly inside my heart flew away. Than I knew everything was going to be alright.    

            Unlike my mother, I could never make a library like this my home. Too many people with too many stories. My heart and mind would become way too overwhelmed. I would be destroyed in a matter of minutes. So for now, I'll stay on top, where I belong. And at the end of the day, I'll race down the hundreds of steps to join the rest of  the people in the library. But, only for a second. A moment. So that I can go back home where my heart can breathe and my mind can sleep.